Paris Baguette America

Michelle Jagroop

Effectively giving and receiving feedback, both positive and constructive, is key to one’s success in the workplace, and is much easier said than done 

Effectively giving and receiving feedback, both positive and constructive, is key to one’s success in the workplace, and is much easier said than done.

I have seen over my career how even the most amazing leaders can struggle with giving feedback. They struggle for a variety of reasons, but predominately is the need to be liked (or the fear of being disliked). They fear upsetting someone by sharing feedback that they believe the receiver will perceive in a negative manner. An unfortunate side effect of this mindset is stunted leadership and personal growth compounded with a lack of self-awareness and decreasing emotional intelligence.

Trust is critical in receiving feedback. If the receiver does not trust the feedback comes with good intentions, they will never buy into the feedback provided. They won’t find it credible, and the effort to provide feedback is wasted.

Sometimes, this mistrust of intentions is not about the giver. The receiver’s “baggage” from their experience with feedback in the past is as, if not more, detrimental to their perception ofall feedback.

For example, if you were in organizations where you were never provided honest feedback, or there was a lack of trust, or psychological safety, attached to feedback sessions, you may join a new organization and naturally assume the same distrustful posture towards any type of feedback. 

"If “feedback is a gift,” why do so many leaders wish it came with a receipt? "

It is disappointing, as a Human Resources Leader, to experience other leaders who have gone through their careers unaware of their glaring opportunities with feedback and the “baggage” they still carry from prior organizations.The leadership to which they have been exposed failed to prove the benefits of a culture that relies on honest feedback. At these organizations, opportunities are recognized but only discussed behind closed doors. They fail to share feedback with the person who needs to hear it the most, sowing distrust, which in turn hurts the organization build a strong talent pipeline.

In diagnosing such organizations, it is incorrect to look to human resources as the cause or sole solution. The culture of constructive feedback must come from the leadership team and permeate the entire organization. Positive and constructive feedback must be part of the standard operating procedures.It becomes a business imperative to design a company culture that focuses on trust, accountability, and prioritizes coaching skills.

Start with yourself by aligning the intention and impact of your feedback. Clearly state your intentions before providing feedback. Share examples of how similar feedback has helped achieve positive outcomes in the past. Ensure the receiver knows the feedback is intended to help them be more successful. Follow up with the receiver of feedback and show genuine interest in their progress. These actions will help build trust and erode old mindsets connected to feedback. If fear of being disliked has hindered feedback in the past, trust in your own intentions – ensuring they are clear from the start will provide confidence.

The real“gift” we give and receive in the workplace is transformational development. Feedback is just the box and wrapping paper. To reap the full benefits of feedback and grow your career in a sustainable way, seek feedback from a variety of people, not just your direct manager. Open the door to peers, direct reports, and vendors. Anyone who has a perspective on your work that can help you grow.